It’s the most wonderful time of the year….

Wait, Christmas songs?  Nooooooooooo……

No worries, Christmas is indeed over, but in New Orleans, just because we’ve rung in the New Year, doesn’t mean we are done celebrating.  Why? Because, on the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me….

One king’s cake!

Any NOLA-ite knows that Twelfth Night (12 days following Christmas) marks the beginning of the Carnival season in New Orleans.  Each year, on January 6th the city transitions from its Holiday haze into a carnival mindset.   Since Mardi Gras and the Carnival season are Christian celebrations, the start to the season begins on the Christian Epiphany and ends on Fat Tuesday, the day before the start of lent.

Today, most New Orleanians celebrate the start of Carnival with the infamous king cake!  One of the oldest krewe’s in New Orleans, the Twelfth Night Revelers, kick off the ball season with their annual masked ball where they present a kings cake.  At the ball all of the eligible maids are presented with a bean from the cake and the maid who receives the golden bean is to reign as the queen of the ball and the first queen of the Carnival season.

The king cake, and the plastic baby (used now instead of a bean), have been a staple of the New Orleans Carnival season ever since (but of course the king cake tradition can be traced back further than the 200 year history of Louisiana).   While the balls may not be open to the public, there is certainly no shortage of celebrations in this city!  Perhaps the best way to kick off the Carnival season is to watch the Phunny Phorty Phellows ride the St. Charles Avenue Street Car line.  Nothing can beat this party in the streets to kick off the season!

phunny.ride.JPG

NOLA, grab your king cake and claim your favorite parade watching spot, Carnival has arrived!

Beatrix Cornu 1866-1880

I was never one who believed much in ghosts, but this all changed when I met Beatrix.

Beatrix, as I have come to call her, is my house ghost.  Within days of moving into the apartment, Beatrix made herself known to my roommate and I.  She was shy at first, hiding in the office in the back of the house.  She would emerge at night, creeping slowly from the office through my roommate’s bedroom and out the bedroom door.  I believe the office, a bonus room in the back of our house, was her bedroom.

Beatrix

For months this was all we saw of Beatrix until she became more comfortable with us.  Then the doors in the common area started opening on their own accord.  It had grown colder by then and when the doors opened I would get hit by a cold blast of air as the door swung to.  Again, this still was not enough for me to believe in the ghost.

It wasn’t until after numerous doors opening on their own, numerous doors that had been double checked when latched, lights being switched on in rooms we hadn’t even been in that day, and objects being moved that I began to believe that Beatrix did in fact exist.  Things started to progress, Beatrix started to become more comfortable around us and her presence became more noticeable.

Over time, it became apparent that Beatrix was a child who had lived (and possibly died?) in my house.  She lived in the tiny room in the back of the house and lives there to this day.  She emerges from her room at night, passing my roommate in her sleep and entering into the common areas of the house.  She turns the light on in her bedroom only and enjoys playing tricks on the members of my household, particularly my roommate whose room is closest and the dogs who she teases into corners.  Beatrix has moved keys, repetitively opened trash cans, and swung cabinets open at the exact time you move your head to that spot, and even slammed doors on occasion.  I have considered all practical reasoning behind the happenings that have occurred, but I have come up with no explanation that explains things better than Beatrix’s existence in my home.

New Orleans is known as the most haunted city in the United States.  The buildings here, in New Orleans, hold energy; energy that dates back centuries, manifesting itself, making itself known to those who pass through the walls.  It’s hard to say if it is because of the humidity or the crooked history of the cities residents, or both.  Whatever the reasoning, it is important to know that even though it is the most haunted city, not all ghosts are malicious, some merely exist in a neighboring universe.  Beatrix may slam doors, cause the dogs to bark, pass through my hallways and create a bit of chaos, but in the end it seems she means no harm.  If that is the case, a third roommate is okay by me!

There Goes the Neighborhood: The Driveway Nazi

I wish I could say my first introduction to the neighborhood was a warm Louisiana welcome.  You know, the kind where you spend hours on the front porch with good food, good drink and good conversation.  Instead, as I pull a borrowed SUV filled full of my first load of items into the shared driveway of my building and I am greeted with a crass shout “hey, lady, you gonna be long?!”  Standing at the front door with my arms filled, I turn my head to see a short, bald, middle-aged man parking his car on the street and walking towards the driveway.

“Just so you know that is MY driveway,” he says as I clumsily put my items down to try the key in the lock.  I carefully explain to him that it was explained to me that it is a shared driveway-not only by word of the landlord, but by the driveway obviously directly in between the property line with a storage shed straddling the line, crossing over into the backyards of both houses.  “Well honey, your landlord LIED to you!”  Well, nice to meet you too!  Obviously not everyone can sport the classic Southern charm, but what can you expect from a middle-aged balding man from Florida?  From this day on I call this neighbor the “Driveway Nazi.”

Well due to the unfortunate circumstance that the Driveway Nazi is a smoker and I own the friendliest toy poodle on the planet, encounters with this neighbor were inevitable.  My poodle and the Driveway Nazi form a quick bro-mance and the original aversion plan is quickly faltered.

I eventually learn that the Driveway Nazi has a wife and a five-year-old daughter who are less boisterous about the driveway situation. After even more observation, it appeared that he and his wife worked evenings.  With a child involved, there of course were babysitters and since they worked evenings the babysitters would leave at odd hours of the day and night.  I originally suspected one, who dressed rather promiscuously, to be the mistress.

One day, when my friend (and former tenant of the apartment) stopped by to pick up mail, I was told that the Driveway Nazi did indeed work nights.  He worked nights managing a strip club on Bourbon Street, where his wife (and so it seems his babysitters) also worked.

Well this will be interesting.  Life certainly can’t be dull living next door to half of the staff from a local strip club…

The Teachings of Ignatius J. Reilly

The personalities in New Orleans are about as dimensional as a doberge cake.  The multifaceted levels of the cultural dynamics have left writers baffled with how to describe the functioning chaos that ensues when the participants interact with one another, serving only to activate and propel their chaotic tendencies in a hermeneutic spiral. Few writers have accurately described this active element in New Orleans culture.  It takes someone with keen observation skills, a penchant for social analysis and an intimate knowledge of the cultural landscape.

John Kennedy Toole holds just this trinity in his work Confederacy of Dunces providing a topographic map of New Orleans personalities.  The main character, Ignatius J. Reilly, is an over schooled and uninspired 30-something living in his mothers home in Uptown New Orleans.  The reader delves even deeper into the mind of the New Orleans mentality through the writings of Ignatius explaining in great detail his many schemes and organizational aspirations.  The writings are so detailed into the worldview of the protagonist that I couldn’t help but share some of my favorite excerpts from Ignatius’ writings in the novel:

“The only excursion of my life outside of New Orleans took me through the vortex to the whirlpool of despair: Baton Rouge…New Orleans is, on the other hand, a comfortable metropolis which has a certain apathy and stagnation which I find inoffensive.”

“…I avoid that bleak first hour of the working day during which my still sluggish senses and body make every chore a penance.  I find that in arriving later, the work which I do perform is of much higher quality.”

“Their movement into power will be, in a sense, only a part of the global movement toward opportunity, justice, and equality for all.  (For example, can you name one good, practicing transvestite in the Senate?  No! These people have been without representation long enough.  Their plight is a national, a global disgrace.)”

With a Dr. Nut in my belly and a Lucky Dog on my chin, I say good day!